Reflection on “Being Myself”

Being myself…

Means being me when I feel what I feel,

Means dancing in my thoughts all day long,

Means writing stories and words of experiential wisdom I believe in,

Means wearing bold colours, eager to stand out, while growing anxious to fit in,

Means feeling with intensity,

Means loving hard and ruthlessly,

Means respecting myself and going out of my way to show kindness to others,

Means intolerance towards disrespectful behaviours,

Means noticing when I feel alive and deciding that this must be me being me,

Means loving art galleries, delicious food, and secretly dreaming of a life lived inside a Parisian library,

Means long conversations on the lounge with you,

Means my heart aches with too many fears and my head is filled with pragmatic proof,

Means I won’t tell you that you weren’t in my thoughts when I nearly died,

Means I feel regret, but rarely guilt,

Means I never blame you for my choices, even when I say so in bouts of anger,

Means I can’t decide what I want with so many hats to juggle,

Means my many hatted heads wish for antagonistic dreams,

Means when I say I love you, I’ll love you forever,

Means my heart is full of lost loves that I sometimes dust back to life when I look at the sky,

Means I’ll apologise to the spider and share my gratitude to the lamb,

Means art thrills my core,

Means Eric Satie’s music will always soothe me and cello makes me feel like falling in love,

Means a simple word of appreciation makes me climb mountains for you,

Means I love to shine,

Means I’m scared to shine,

Means I love pausing to look at a baby especially when I’m in a rush,

Means when I’m of service to you, I love the break it gives me from me,

Means I don’t often think in your language and feel frustrated by my wordlessness,

Means when I write to you I delight in pausing mid-sentence to find the exact right word,

Means boutique distillery gin on the rocks or aged Japanese plum wine,

Means having the ability to be infinitely selfless and selfish all at once,

Means that witnessing my heart swell with joy, sorrow, or greatness, is that you’re seeing the true version of me,

Means I’m nothing like you,

Means I’m not so different from you,

Means you’ll look twice when I stand near the Mona Lisa.